Im starting to get fed up with this winter thing...its cold, its been cold for far too long..Im desperate for spring, or 40 degrees..Id take that.

Its sounds petty, I know it does...being shut up indoors and running from the house to the warm car then to the store...It is the reverse of Arizona...running from the AC house to the AC car to the AC store...dodging the heat in the summertime.

How did I get here in Wisconsin? Land of Cheese? I dont know anymore...Months and months of fighting everybody, Lawyers (evil fucks)... Contractors (I hate you all)....who will not pay me...even after I threaten them with leins..and speak to the investors...Tom has to call his PO in Feb...I hope this is almost over...I need a FUCKING vacation from all of this.

So I took a two hour nap today to try and think and block out every little decision that is on me to make and to do at the moment. All those thoughts were there waiting for me to wake up...lined up silently picketing my mind...

Its been a sorry ass couple of days round here, sick children...dangerous wind chills..so no one went to school on Thursday and Friday...after paying rent we are dangerously low on funds..the project manager for the YMCA called me on friday...to decline our estimate, another guy called to decline a bid we put in to paint his 1/2 million dollar house...the contract labour guy seems to have slowed down...so now we are back to the old financial ick..that leads to the petty fights, the anxiety that the husband finds and stays up with all night long..like last night..up til five in the AM...the getting bored, the mass consumption of sugar and carbs...that snowballs into a funkie depression...that leads you back to the bickering..staying up...binging...guilt...binging..guilt...etc.

I need a long hot bath...to wash away this tiredness that I am draped in due to cold weather...and abject sorrow...

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♦ French Toast Assassin is like im getting ill.

♦ French Toast Assassin is newspaper.

♦ French Toast Assassin is Mozart.