Tom went to work today, while I struggled to put this mamoth desk together, giant jig saw puzzle really, with the added distraction of the kids running in and out the house..what fun..

I did manage to get the house cleaned up, and at least he was understanding of the fact that the house wasnt perfect when he got home..though it rarely is..Im not sure what happened to him to make him so anal about the state of the house, im tidy, but not anal over it..sheesh..other than that today, and doing some gardening..I planted columbines, another hasta..I have poppies going in a patch and in some started bins..sunflowers and pumpkins that are struggling to come up..things are OK round here..Though Tom..(the facist..as I now at times refer to him)..has been extra pissy latley for some reason..that I cannot figure out..its not him being tired, im not sure if he is bored..and then that brings up this whole thing where I could think myself into several sets of boxes trying to figure out what his problem is...yes..you guessed it..so I can fix it for him...I realize my minds way of thinking..Ive been trying deal with that...Im a fixer mostly...like before I got on the puter after doing all this shit today he says to me 'so your going to be on the puter for the rest of the night....I didnt take this as a question posed, I took this as a statement made with a side of heavy sarcasim...as his inflection at the end of the statement did not rise as if it were a question...so then I feel guilty..its like did you want me to do something else? any random errand...job...issue...thing...event...???? What...now I feel guilty for sitting here...he tries to back off from it..oh no ..no..thats not what I meant...I was just wondering..well FUCK..then ask like its a question..not like your making statements from on FUCKIN high man...jeez...So now he's brought it all up..I rally the ball to his side of the court cause its been eating at me for a few months now how he has turned into a facist pig/Nazi about everything...What are you doing..Who called?...Did you do this, that..got that done..why not..(the basement light is on..he yells down..'you down there honey?' Who are you talking to? Where are you going, what are you going to get...its fuckin endless..so I tell him this constantly...fuckin nazi...and with me it takes me a good few seconds to gather my thoughs..evaluate what background information about what ever event is at hand should be included so he will know where I am within that moment..and he's like a friggin 4 year old...pulling at my skirt..hu?...Hu?...WHAT...I love him to death..but some moments and some things in my mind should become less and less pertinent to the moment the older we get, or the wiser we get...I think this is his one charicter flaw...other than the other big one with Sally-next-door neighbour-issue..I think Tom hates her, because she is weak, needy, shallow, over all looser with a track record of being a looser...and stupid..all of which I agree with...its just he does not hold back being nasty to her..and I guess like after the other day..shes got it comming...this is what happened..let me pause to gather my thoughts...

1. two weeks ago sally was at work (plastic injection mold plant)...cleaning a mold part..

2. somehow..she ignited the parts...

3. and a fire ball flew up at her and burned off like 40% of her hair..

4. and singed her face and eyebrows..

5. BUT..and here is the big BUT..BARLEY singed her face..

6. she had to get her hair cut in a short style, it was shoulder length before..cause the side of her head where the 40% of her hair singed..was now very short

7. she freaked out...way out...I wont go into that..but she freaked..

8. according to sally she met up with a homley, plain co-worker at a gas station here in town...(I think its all so 7th grade)

9.co-worker..homley girl..remarks to sally 'I like your long hair'...'nice hair..'..basically mocking her..running her down teasing her etc...(raised eyebrow..)

10. sally says something to the effect of: 'well you dont have to be mean about it' (she, sally, has some psychological need to be the victim of something, and from that point if view her entire family would make a good case study)

11. next day she comes outside when Tom is outside packing up the truck for work..and a cop car drives by the front of the house...so sally remarks to Tom.."there commin for ya Tom'..and 'what would you do if they came and got you again?"..doing the same thing to Tom that that homely co-worker did to her...so Tom being Tom says in a very loud voice..."Suck my dick Bitch'...and continues packing up the car...heheheheh

my point in all of this is two maybe three fold:

one must try and lead by example...I dont have any friends round here as it is..I dont need an enemy living right next door..and sally is tolerable in small doses...

Why did I tell you all that? Cause I needed to get it down, and I needed to tell someone sane and away from all of this my thoughts on it. Plus, it might make interesting reading to some degree...I try, and its not easy to be a kind of even keel to Tom's wierdness..and he is a good counter balance to my wierdness..though they are two different types of wierdness...

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♦ French Toast Assassin is wating for the revolution..

♦ French Toast Assassin is testing wind-mills.

♦ French Toast Assassin is reading: 'Dude, wheres my country'.